Stuff You Can Buy on the Internet

Your Mom is a Scrapbooker

2008-07-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

This just in: If your parties revolve around scrapbooking, you shouldn't be having parties in the first place, because you live a sad, miserable, broken life and should consider suicide as an alternative to wasting trees and paper creating books that (hopefully) won't interest you in a few months.

I also love how you have to call this woman (its obviously a woman, a man would never try to sell something this stupid) to check for her availability. Is she booked through 2029 or something? Is her schedule THAT crowded with circles of spinsters looking to scrapbook their way out of their misery while watching the Home Shopping Network? I guess they already know how to buy stupid things like this scrapbooking service.

FIN.

Junk in That Trunk

2008-07-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

This beautiful doll is available on eBay with a starting price of $50.00. It's a small price to pay for this thing to give your nightmares a theme, forever. Ah!

And, of course, the back view:

There's some junk in that trunk.

First Up: Jesus Snow Globes

2008-07-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

My evaluation of the world just went down 40 points when I Googled "Jesus snow globes." There were more than 200,000 hits. Here are a select few, and as you're contemplating the stupidity that went behind making these, think about the worse stupidity that goes into buying them.

You can buy this gem at Gizmodo.com.au.

Reigninggifts.com. Obviously.

Inaugural Post

2008-07-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

While the internet has raised the level of public discourse in many ways, that discourse has also been equal-opportunity -- in a very bad way. You can find 99.999% of anything you want on the internet, including some objects that you can't help but laugh at. This blog is devoted to those rare finds, those Jesus snow globes, bronzed baby shoes, and myriad contraptions for speeding the imbibement of alcohol that you can, indeed, buy on the internet.

Let the games begin.